• James Watson says:

    Thank you for writing an article about bullying in the workplace. That is why I read your blog.
    Managers and some people in positions of authority usually pretend as if there is no such thing as bullying in exisistence in their organisations, so they turn a blind eye.
    We should all (staff and managers all over the world) in organisations deal with bullying behaviours at work, that is the only way to stamp out bullying in the work place. BTW, the blog is looking good.
    JJ, NY

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  • Cassie Wilson says:

    Great article, thanks. I will confront the bully in my office tomorrow morning and put him on blast. He makes me hate going to work. No one deserves to be bullied.

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  • Elle says:

    Its a real pity that society has stooped to the level where articles like this need to be written. Sad!

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  • Usually I don’t learn article on blogs, however I wish to say that this write-up very forced me to check out and do it! Your writing style has been amazed me. Thank you, quite great post.

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  • Jon says:

    I just don’t know what to do. My supervisor is the worst I’ve ever had. He’s 55 yrs old but acts like a spoiled child. I’m probably the best worker at my job but he’s threatened by that and the fact that my boss and other co workers really liked me and give me compliments all the time. So over the past 8 yrs. He’s taken credit for my work, told people I’m a liar and can’t be trusted, told my boss that I can’t stand him, puts me down, and makes a big deal out of every little mistake I’ve ever made to make it look worse than it really is. So now my boss doesn’t like me and gives this guy a huge paycheck every week and pampers him while I’m stuck going nowhere and doing most of the work. There is no human resources person to talk to and I’ve talked to my boss and he refuses to do anything about it and now my boss screws with me too because of the lies this guy has told him. Can anyone give me some advice? I’m at the end of my rope and I don’t know what to do.

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  • Hi Jon, I can’t imagine what you are going through. However, if you love your job and plan to remain with your employer, I think it is time to act fast by showing that you feel unsupported. It is a way of showing everyone that you won’t tolerate how they have been treating you lately anymore. The concern is if you don’t pay attention to this bullying behaviour, it might result in a crisis. When issues like this emerge, always handle them immediately. First, ensure that you check your company’s procedures and policies for guidance. Then, ask for an audience with your supervisor. In some companies, you can have a third person present. In any case, talk with supervisor directly in a polite, direct but not confrontational or emotional way. Be specific about the behavior he executes that is making you uncomfortable. 
    After you describe your complaints, ask for your supervisor’s thoughts. Watch him and his words – Does he blame others? Does he get angry? His reactions may tell you a lot about him and whether he can change his attitude towards you or not.
    If this is a pattern for the supervisor, it’s important to communicate with HR in writing and in person before you speak to the supervisor about the way you feel. Do not ask the supervisor to “change” but instead tell him that the behavior itself must stop. “Tell him ‘I feel unsupported (explain why by mentioning instances) and say to him,  ’Regardless of your motive or the reason, your behaviour towards me as your staff has to stop. I enjoy my work and I want to get on better with you.
    Then, enforce a clear action plan. Ask him how he thinks you can both move on by establishing a better working relationship. Describe the type of behaviour that you will like to see immediately after the meeting from both of you. Ask him to call you aside and have a word if he notices a different behaviour from you and vice versa. 
    You need to patch things up with your direct supervisor first, to get back into his own manager’s good book.
    After the discussion with your supervisor, be sure to demonstrate the actions that you agree to and watch him as well. If the situation persists, you need to go all out and escalate the complaints further. Note every bullish behaviour with dates – you may need the notes later. If all else fail, unfortunately, it may be time to look for another job.

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  • dan27music says:

    I don’t really see any solution to bullying but love, and probably Christian love – turn the other cheek. If you retaliate you just become a bully yourself. Learning about assertiveness may help. Forgiveness is at the heart of a good teams, I have read. Bullyingonline.org has comprehensive info on bullying but I don’t think it offers solutions. The Gideons refer us to these passages:

    Bullied
    Psalm 37:7-9
    7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-it leads only to evil. 9 For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

    Bullied
    Psalm 91:9-16
    9 If you make the Most High your dwelling-even the LORD, who is my refuge- 10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. 11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; 12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. 14 “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. 15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honour him. 16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

    Bullied
    Joshua 1:9
    9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

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  • ptom says:

    the only thing i know is hitting back.

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  • SPYDER says:

    ITS A SHAME YOU CANT BEAT THE HELL OUT OF A BULLY,BUT THEY SO MUCH OF A CHICKEN WHEN THEY GET THEIR BUTT KICKED ,THEY WOULD CALL THE COPS ,JUST LIKE A FEMALES BODY PART (P***Y)………..I LOVE FIGHTING BULLIES TWICE MY SIZE EVER SINCE I WAS LITTLE ,AND I STILL LIKE DOING IT TODAY TOO!!!!

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  • Madamx says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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  • Rose says:

    Jon, agree with Number 7 and 8. It depends on how long have you been there for? etc. Companies tend to turn it around an d look after themselves from legal lawsuits. If it’s that bad and you can’t turn to anyone, you need to look for another job and keep the one you have until then. Bullies intimidate, make inappropriate comments, humiliate people when they can’t cope themselves. They enjoy it. They target someone and it’s not you personally. It’s just an excuse that it happens to be you. If you were not there, they target someone else.

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  • Caroline says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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  • Hays says:

    Im experincing a bully at work im 21the young and thin and she’s 35 or so fat and loud. She is intimidating ive let her walk on me. Ive given her the hall she wants to work on (healthcare )and she repays me by kicking me off the hall in the middle of every one the next day. Im done being nice but im not good at standing up for myself. My boss doesn’t know the issue exists some co workers ate on my side others on hers and the rest ignore it. I dont want tk let her keep doing this to me but i have to keep my job. She wrote on my face today infront of people and i just about cried. I was so upset i didnt know how to stop her. I just sat therr with nothing to ssy til she left.

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    • Hi Hays,
      Sometimes, we teach people how to treat us. I am afraid that you are indirectly telling this bully that it’s OK to continue their bullying without actually verbalizing it. You give people a yard they take a mile. You should not keep quiet about the situation, you have to speak up. Never allow yourself to be treated like this by anyone, anywhere and at anytime! You can find a way to do something about it and still keep your job. Through your Human Resources department, you should have access to your employees’ procedures and policies at work. Seek out the clause on bullying in the workplace there, and then follow the protocol regarding what to do if you feel bullied.

      In addition, if you have a trusted senior member of staff, have a quiet word with him or her in private to get them on your side before you confront the bully. You may have to speak to your boss in the presence of one or two co-workers who supports you. Then, ask for your boss’s opinion of how to deal with the situation. Remember to let your boss know that the situation is affecting how you do your job, your health and self esteem.

      If nothing changes, wait to address the issue if the bully should cross the line in front of your colleagues. Then, you will need to sum up the courage to directly confront the bully in front of everyone by calling her out as a bully and by telling her that as from now on, you will not keep quiet about her appalling bullying behavior toward you. Why would you want to keep your job only to be miserable there? We spend most of our time at work, that’s a long time to be unhappy. So be brave and speak out or speak to anyone who can help you to deal with the situation.

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  • connie says:

    I was bullied by a co-worker for four years. She was back-stabbing, demeaning, rude, insulting, humiliating in front of others…a severly toxic person.

    I confronted her and she lied and denied everything. I held my ground, and she kept up the behavior. I confronted her again and again every time I learned how she was back-stabbing I confronted it. I had to be rude to her to finally get the message across that she crossed the line one too many times.

    She was impossible to talk to, she would walk away or brush you off with ‘whatever’. I wrote her a letter telling her exactly the treatment I endured from her, and how she’s a bully and a coward…she dishes it out but can’t take it when confronted. She’s a pitiful person.

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  • ondarai mon says:

    for all the victim
    remember that the bully is playing with fire. the victim will use preemptive strike all the time.

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  • Susan says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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    • Thanks for your comments, Susan. I think you have a generalized view of all HR departments. Asking someone that’s been bullied to just ignore and document is not good advice. Tragically, people like you who tell the victims of bullying to ignore the bullies are offering advice that just does not work. Ignoring bullies does not work, because by ignoring the bully you give your tacit approval of what they are doing. Bullies should not be allowed to get away with their toxic behavior. People who observe bullying in school, on the playground, in the workplace, in the community or on the internet should be aware of the harassment and let the bullies know that their behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.

      Bullies run rampant through the world, causing unnecessary pain and devastation in the lives of people that they choose to victimize. If you have the capacity to ignore a bully and just document, then that is fine but just be aware that ignoring a bully actually gives the bully a permission slip to continue bullying.

      Ignoring a bully sends the signal that you “will take it” and therefore it is acceptable for the bullying to continue. Further, ignoring a bully tells any bystander that is acceptable to bully and inevitably, this becomes embedded in the company’s culture.

      The statistics are staggering and the research is clear.

      • If a bully torments you, call it out as wrong right away.

      • If a bully does it again, let them know via straight talk it is NEVER ACCEPTABLE!

      People commit suicide as a direct result of their victimization by bullies as they feel alone, powerless and don’t feel they can take it anymore. Remember, bullies lack the empathy to understand that they are causing pain to another human being unless they are told directly.

      By being proactive against the bully, as a victim, you do your part first to protect yourself and may even guide the bully into becoming a better person.

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  • Alisha Murphy says:

    Great article, Catherine. I had to handle a similar conflict with my colleague some time ago. Several times I felt like quitting my job. It made me sick. I didn’t really know how to act and behave. With everything I tried I seemed to worsen the situation. So I decided to get some help to talk to someone and get some professional advice. I came across an online business coach (I can recommend Your24hcoach – it helped me out a lot). My coach handed me some excellent advises, for example how to change my attitude and behavior to my colleague, after asking me some specific questions explaining the situation. What surprise! My attitude changed my colleague’s attitude to me. Through does tips I really got the confidence I needed to transmit the theory explained in this article into real action and proof in daily life! Good luck, everyone!

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    • Thanks for sharing your experience with us, Alisha. It is appreciated and it’s good to know that the situation can be addressed and that in some cases, bullies can change their behaviours and attitudes. Again, thanks for sharing your practical approach of how you dealt with your own situation at work.

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    • Thanks for sharing your experience with us, Alisha. It is appreciated and it’s good to know that the situation can be addressed and that in some cases, bullies can change their behaviour and attitude. Again, thanks for sharing your practical approach of how you dealt with your own situation at work.

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